A Healthy Relationship

Other than parenting a child, relating intimately with another person is the hardest emotional task one has to face. The difficult aspect of a relationship is that it demands the examination of the places within yourself that are wounded. This is important because you are likely to project this to your current partner.
To be intimate means to share pains and accept the risk of being hurt. To be intimate means to be vulnerable yet to be able to cope. You must be able to take the bumps and falls that the come with opening yourself to trust. These slips do not refer to physical or psychological abuse, but two people trying to fill each others needs and being hurt in the process.

Intimate relationship lead to the fear of abandonment, but not all. Such fear triggers various reactions, from withdrawal to rage . When rage persist, it is wise to leave the relationship rather than suffer the brunt of insecurities day in or day out.
A wife fearful that her husband would leave her, made him suffer through constant nagging and sometimes, fasting for days. She usually earned her husband’s attention after such a fast. For the sake of the children whom he loves dearly, he put up with it.But now, he is simply fed up and wants a way out of such tortures. All he is asking for is that his wife be not so selfish. It is said that the tighter your grip on the sand in your palm, the lesser you can contain, if you don’t lose it all.

The problem is that each one is demanding to be loved and protected. Discussions can turn into battles about whose needs are being met. Each one is like a child who look to the person across the room to fill his or her needs, but there is no adult on either side to reply. Both have simply collapsed into their childhood fears.

When these situations arise, you can try to work it out in two ways. One is to respond to and confront the immediate cause. Another is to give your partner an idea of the source - sometimes deeply buried—of your reaction. To do this, though, you must first understand your own patterns  of fear.

Here’s an exercise you can do to examine your core issues and develop the tools necessary to create a more healthy relationship.
Never use these issues against each other. Information shared for each other must be accepted with the understanding and trust that each is a friend who wants to help the other. This exercise calls for self-introspection.
Make a list of your most intimate relationship, not necessarily sexual. Are you still involved with them? If not, how did the relation end? How did you feel about its ending? Are these patterns of similarities of the ending of your relationship? If so, how do these patterns fit-into your experience of childhood?
If your are currently in a committed relationship, what are the issues that the two of you disagree about most? What are their themes? What is position on these issues and what is your partner’s position?
Now close your eyes and see which part within you responds to the situation. Who gets hurt or angry or afraid? Make commitments to yourself on how you would protect yourself from similar situations. Now write down your understanding of your partner’s issue. Ask him how he reacts to this issue. Is your partner interested in hearing your perceptions?
Remember, these are your perceptions, not your judgments! You can try to share what you have learned about yourself as well.
Thanks to Marilitz “thoughts”.

Slimming Naturally

Tons of people worry on how to unload those excess baggage, getting rid of flab - slimming.
Going by today’s standards, to be slim is to be attractive. to look lean and mean with firm muscles is the anxiety which results in making aerobic and other fitness centers thrive as a booming business. Fitness programs with treatments compete for your hard-earned money, all promising to make you shed 20 to 30 unwanted pounds. Fat burners and slimming teas abound in the shelves of health food stores. Those without patience with the programs get an instant liposuction, surgical shortening of the small intestines or sewing of the stomach so to be smaller.

Weight loss actually is not a big problem with which to be burdened. To lose that excess weight is desirable, not just for superficial reason  of so-called beauty standards. Actually, it is quite sad that people see others on the basis of the person within that body.
But be sure to lose that excess weight because having more fat in the body slows one down , invite diseases, and cause fatigue. Please consider that the first reason why one may be over-eating, though. Is it due to some emotional problem, or some glandular disorders? From there you can adopt a program for a more healthy living

Attention to diet is crucial. Your body is the result of your current eating habits. If your body is sickly or heavy on the scale, introduce changes gradually. Changing to a new good diet should not mean making abrupt stressful adjustment. You must be aware of the desirable and undesirable food identity.

Stay away from sweets, salty, fatty processed foods. You don’t have to live on a monotonous unpolished rice and veggies either. Fad diet are not the answer either to obesity or bad health. It deprive the body of essential nutrients and lower the body’s metabolic rate. What is needed is establishing a good ratio of nutrients by choosing good quality foods.

You must be aware of your individual requirements. Many of my friends who work with computers like to nibble while working. What do they nibble? Some salty, sweet processed junk food. It must be hard for them to go a weight control diet program. But still, you must find a healthy substitute to eat like dried fruits and fruit juices.

Work within a sensible framework, and occasional treats can be enjoyed without harm. Eat food as close to their natural state as possble. Add more raw food at the start of the meal, or follow the main meal suggestion twice a week, then three times until you are close to the recomended pattern.

Having fiber in one’s food is essential to anyone even if he/she is not in some trimming down program. Fiber comes from whole plants, wholen grains, vegetables, and fruits. it is bsically composed of the edible plant which forms the plant cell walls. Fiber is neither digested or absorbed in the small intestine; it is digested in the large intestine. Some of the digested products actually get into the body and significantly reduce the production of cholesterol.

Fiber is mainly a source of complex carbohydrates which releases gradual energy level into our blood sugar. Complex carbohydrates also does’nt shoot up our blood sugar leaving our body suddenly depleted with energy, a reaction given of by simple carbohydrates.

According to medical findings, fiber may protect you against cancer, may reduce the risk of coronay heart disease and help control obesity and diabetes. Fiber is essential in fostering healthy bowel movement and protects us against gall-stones, reduces cholesterol levels and ensures better health.

Avoid white bread, white sugar, dyed or artificially sweetened foods and drinks. Avoid meat, if possible, specially red meat. Eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains like oats, brown rice and wheat. Take multi-vitamins and minerals three times a day. Minimize or avoid intake of artificial salt. Pay attention to trace minerals such as zinc and sulphur which are good for the skin.

Perhaps you have heard that when you are on a diet, one of the basic rules is NOT to starve yourself. Rather, you must eat the proper food that can lessen your weight but still provide energy for your body.